The utter ineptitude of my attempts at engaging in this form of communication.

In a dust covered corner of the room there appeared the wizened features of ms Martha Flange. Born in a Nissan hut on the outskirts of Penge, ms Flange had experiened a particularly unpleasant dose of irritable bowel syndrome. Nevertheless she continued to exude a certain youthful zest that belied her 87 years.